Tiny The Turkey

It was a crisp fall day in a small Idaho town. The year 1990. I was roughly ten years old.

Me, my dad and my brothers in Idaho

My dad had taken my brothers and I to his friend Larry’s house for the day. Larry happened to live on a turkey farm.

Thanksgiving was fastly approaching and Larry told us that the turkeys were about to be sold off and slaughtered for the holiday.

My ten year old brain did not like this. I needed to save one, I needed a plan.

So, I waited for dad and Larry to have a few beers. I waited for their cheeks to get rosey and their speech to slur slightly.

Then it was time.

“Daddy, can I have a pet turkey?” I begged.

“They are Larry’s turkeys, honey. You have to ask him.”


“Larry, (batting lashes) can I have one of your turkeys?” I asked.

Larry, being buzzed and looking for some entertainment, thought he could out smart me.

“Sure, honey! If you can catch one, it’s all yours!”

Game on.

I hopped over the fence and into the pen. I looked around. I started to make a move,

and thats when I saw it!

Gimp turkey!

I rushed toward it. The mass of turkeys started flapping their wings and running. This one tripped over itself. It wasnt even a challenge!

The handicapped are drawn to me.

Now I don’t know if it was because of the shock or the beer or perhaps Larry and my dad are men of their word but I got to keep my prize!

I climbed into the back seat of my dads car that evening proud, I had saved a life. Tiny, the turkey, sat on my lap. My dad started the engine.

Thats when it happened.

Tiny shit on my lap. It was like a water ballon of smelly, hot “white out” exploded all over me.

I put tiny in the trunk.

My grandpa let me keep tiny at his place in his barn.

What tiny lacked physically he made up for mentally. He would jump up and pull the chain to the barn light all night long.

On and off.
On and off.
On and off.

This was quite the feat with only one good leg.

Grandpa grew tired of this quickly and suggested Tiny move out before he became dinner.

A boy from my bible class joyfully adopted Tiny.

A week later that boys dog ate him.


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