A month or so ago, with the advice of Pepper, I went to my public library. I was on a quest for self-help books in attempt to control my crazy.

I drove up to the building, parked and walked up the old familiar steps. I couldn’t remember the last time I had been to an actual library.

I opened the door and approached the counter. Sitting there was a male librarian. This guy was very dweeby. He looked exactly like Dwight from “The Office”, glasses and all.

“How can I help you?” He asked.

“I need a library card. Well, I think I need one. I had one before but that was several years ago. Well like twenty five years ago. I think I was in second grade.”

Dwight rolls his eyes. “Name?”

I tell him my name. He punches a few buttons on his keyboard. Then shakes his head and smiles to himself.

“You were twelve.”

“Jr high is better than second grade, I guess.” I respond.

“Hmph.” Dwight’s smile widens. “You want to know what your password was?”


“‘SoWhat’! Someone had a little attitude.”

“Some things never change.” I said. “So, how many books can I check out at once?”

“50. Dont worry you will never surpass the limit. I only came close once. I hit 48 but I was studying for my masters.”

With that Dwight turned away and went back to his stamping.

I checked out nine.

Flash forward: Today. I was returning some books. I walked up to the counter and there was dweeby Dwight.

“I’ll take those, thanks.” He says in his whiny voice without even looking up.

I dropped the books and walked out the door. That’s when I realized it.

I have the hots for the male librarian.