Walking In My Shoes

I was changing my tampon this morning when THIS happened.


How do these things happen!?

More importantly, does it happen to anyone else!?!


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  1. Being a dude, I’m stymied by the complex biological issues of women. Were you wearing the shoe at the time?

    On the bright side, being inside the shoe, no one will notice– except when you are at the airport and there are about a thousand people crammed into 10 square feet and they make you take your shoes off and you end up inadvertently sticking it in the face of the passenger next to you because as you lean over to put your bag on the belt they are squatted down to untie their own shoe.

    Good luck.


  2. No, no. I was about five feet FROM the shoe. I have no idea How it happened. Dumb crap like this happens to me ALL THE TIME.

    I bleached the shoe out, though you can still see the blood stain. Luckily these are running shoes only, like I would be caught dead in public with them on (unless running), pfft!


    Though I’m sure THIS shoe probably smells better than some of the closed toe stilettos I currently own.


  3. They happen because serendipity (sp?) is also available in freaky, shitty, and just impossible varieties. I’ll give you two examples.

    August, lobby of the Junior High School (yeah this was a while back… as is the other example). Humidity 100%, fresh cold Mt Dew I had opened but not had a sip of yet. I was holding it down at my side, so all my fingers were coming straight down the sides, palm above. And… I forgot I had it. The thing was practically sweating with all the condensation, my grip loosened, and to the tile floor it went. CLUNK! We all looked at it in amazement… it had landed upright and not a single drop had come out. After a 3 foot drop and it was OPEN.

    Example #2 – at home Senior year of high school. We had our class rings. Walked into my bedroom, pulled off the ring, chucked over onto my unmade bed. It bounced off the side of one of those stupid diamond-shaped bumps in the mattress over to the night stand, striking dead center the not-actual-crystal face of my Bucherer watch I had bought in Switzerland (not FROM, IN lol Bucherer is a watch retailer and the watch was the house brand). Cracked the face enough that within weeks fine dust particles invaded the gears and caused it to stop working. I hadn’t even thrown the ring in the direction of the watch, just a bad bounce. (Follow-up: I haven’t been back, but Pa went for some reason and came back with a much nicer model by Bucherer, half as thick and the face was some fancy unbreakable-ish crystal, better than quartz. So in the end it was ok).

    So, that’s how it happens. By happening. Some shit you just can’t make up.


    1. Woa, woa, woa…Too much information there.. I don’t have the attention span for THAT long of an explanation!

      I am glad that you do though. Now my readers know what happened.


      Thanks! 😉


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