Now that this blog has grown a small following,
I decided that it was time to take it to the next level: video!
So, I did what any unemployed, stardom obsessed, Donut loving gal would do.
I planned a video/photo shoot.
First, I asked all my photographer friends if they would be interested in working with me. Then, I explained my ideas, to be naked and covered in Donuts. A tribute to my little Cream Puff. I found one friend, Phog, who was willing to help me create my vision despite my obvious insanity.
Next, I was going to need an assistant. I asked my little asian friend, Ha, for help. She agreed, though skeptical. I dont know how I’m always able to convince Ha into following my crazy schemes. Even though she was not looking forward to hanging out with me outside all day, while I was naked, she agreed. Probably out of pity.
Her life must be really boring.
I needed money for the shoot. I decided I needed an investor. By investor I mean donator. By donator I mean I went onto a sugar daddy web site and told men to give me money. This worked. Turns out, wealthy men love to give money to hot, younger blondes for retarded projects.
I told you men are stupid.
I spent the few days prior to the shoot scoping out donut shops. I asked the shop owners what they did with their donut surplus at the end of the night, if I could buy their old donuts before they threw them away.
They all said no.
Donut selling asians are stingy.
I even asked for a discount if I bought in bulk. They said, “no
Discount! Donuts discounted already!”
I went ahead and bought out most of a donut store. I told the owners they were for a photo shoot and were to be destroyed.
I handed them my blog business cards. They read them.
“I hate dawgs, spess-ly wee-ta-ted wons! Also, I hate dough-knotts! Oh you no like dah-nuts?” They asked me.
“Donut is a man. I am going to smash them.” I explained.
They laughed very hard. I had amused them.
The morning of the shoot I sent my family to Knotts Berry Farm for the day. This shoot was too be very messy, I was utilizing my grandmas back yard.
The donuts made for some creative costume ideas. I made a donut bikini, donut hole necklace etc. you name it. I set up a staging area.
I had Ha slap frosting and sprinkles onto my naked body. I had her cover up my problem areas.
At first, Ha was embarrassed for me and a little disgusted. As the day went on, Ha started to get into the set design. She may have discovered her calling.
We went through several costume changes. I mocked the most disturbing, sexual things I could think up with the donuts.
Ha was a natural, setting up my pastry props in ways to cover my “rated x” spots while Phog shot on.
“Perfect! Donut would like this, he’s a bisexual.” I said.
Ha covered me in powdered sugar, strawberry jelly, heart confetti, you name it.
I was a hot, sticky mess.
I was having a blast. I’m an all around dirty girl.
Next it was time to film the video.
I decided that in one of the scenes it would be funny if I was hit in the face by a flying, giant, jelly donut. Ha was to chuck the donut at my face while Phog filmed.
This brought Ha much satisfaction. She loaded the donut up with as much extra jam as she could squeeze into it. She topped the donut with powdered sugar from a box. Then she pitched it at my face like she was on a major league.
We had to reshoot this scene several times to get it right..I couldnt stop laughing. I deserved this.
My favorite scene is of my six inch, red stiletto stomping a donut to death.
Phog says he should have everything from the shoot ready for me by Tuesday. One of the pics will be used for my book cover.
The video is for Youtube.com.
Donut, if you are reading this, whats it gonna take? No girl will ever go this length to get you back ever again. Probably, thats for the best.
As for the rest of my lovlies, I need some more photo shoot ideas!
I want to do one a month. Perhaps a wrestling theme as tribute to Brutus, DND for Morthos….
What do you all think? Leave me a comment with your ideas! The crazier the better.
I may just use them.
Stay tuned! The photos will be posted within the next 48 hours.
*Photos By: Nicholas Iverson*