I am in pain, down there. It will be OK though. After spending the afternoon at Urgent Care I was prescribed some antibiotics for a UTI. I’m pretty sure this one came about due to the enormous amount of stress I have been under lately.
For those of you who don’t know, my grandfather passed away last week due to heart failure and it was sudden. He leaves behind my grandmother who has been slowly losing her mind over the last year. I know this because since May of 2011 I have been living with them along with my two children. Almost daily my grandma flashes back into her past and mistakes me for my mother. I was adopted (though not legally) by my grandparents when I was 6 years old because my mother was unable to care for me. She was busy with my brother who was terminally ill as well as battling her alcohol and drug addictions. Sometimes my grandmother thinks I am my mother and my daughter is me. This creates much chaos. I do my best to keep my children in the other part of the house, my main concern is and always has been them.
My grandfather was in the hospital for a week before the recent death. Devotedly by his side was my grandmother the entire time. She has also been under an enormous amount of stress. As a matter of fact she has been under so much stress and been so confused she has been babbling stories to her children and to the nurses that are extremely exaggerated and untrue. She has said so many of these things recently that a case has been opened up, through the state, investigating me for child and elderly abuse.
Some of the accusations:
1.) Leaving children unattended in the bath tub
2.) Pushing grandmother down the stairs
3.) Leaving my children with grandparents while I go out drinking at night and do not answer my phone.
Let me address each accusation:
1.) My bedroom is next to the bathroom therefore I can hear everything. With both the bedroom and bathroom doors open I will work on my writing or fold laundry etc. while the children bath. I am a woman and an amazing multi-tasker. My children are not in any danger.
2.) My grandmother had hip surgery several months ago. She returned home from the surgery high on pain killers. The pain killers severely altered her demeanor and heightened her mental confusion. I woke up to my daughter hitting my son. I do not allow this behavior so my daughter was put into time out. She did not like this, as a matter of fact she started crying and throwing toys. I stood by her door with my arms crossed waiting for her to calm down as so her punishment could begin. My grandmother heard the crying and it upset her. It pushed her to the point that she came hurdling up the stairs just days after returning from the hospital. She still couldn’t put on a sock on her foot without help nor barely walk so I have no idea how she eve made it up the stairs. Once she arrived to the top she screamed, “That poor baby! Why are you doing this to her? You are locking her up like Cinderella in the castle!” before she attempted to pick up my daughter. I told her she needed to calm down. this infuriated her more. I did not want my daughter to witness this so I picked her up and placed her on my bed. My grandmother followed me and grabbed me by the arms drawing blood. I pulled my arms away and shut my bedroom door. Then, I heard a thump. I opened the door and she was on the ground. I was terrified. Immediately I asked her if she was OK the attempted to help her up. “No! Don’t touch me!” She screamed. Again, I asked if she was OK. She said, “I don’t know!” In a panic I ran down the stars and alerted my grandfather. He followed me upstairs. Once my grandmother saw him she looked at him and said, “Wendi pushed me.”
3.) In early February, I put my kids to bed then left for a business dinner with a possible investor at 8pm. It was the first time I had been out of the house (socially) without my children in over a month. Because it was a meeting I shut my phone off. When the meeting was over, knowing my kids were asleep for the night, I met some friends. I arrived home around 1 am. Both my grandparents were up waiting for me (I’m 32). My grandmother screamed, “You were out drinking. You are a drunk! You are an alcoholic!” To which I replied, “I’m an adult. My children are asleep for the evening and you said you didn’t mind if I went out.” We had never discussed a time for me to return. This was the last time I left my children alone with them.
Now, I know this living situation is less than ideal for all of us, especially the children but I don’t have another option. I left my ex husband two years ago because he was physically abusive towards me. Also, I had to seek a restraining order and flee the state. In retaliation my ex husband called CPS on me and told them I was a drunk and abusing the children. After a thorough investigation I was cleared of all allegations.
I ended up settling in court (due to my lack of income for attorney fees as well as in fear of losing my daughter after my ex tried to press kidnapping charges on me) at 50/50 custody with my daughter. This has been a heartache in itself. Both my children suffer emotionally because of it (having different fathers). Me, well, I have learned how to block it out, mostly.
My grandparents invited us to live with them until I was on my feet. After two months here I found a job at a major resort. The first summer I made great money and was saving up get an apartment. I was almost ready to make the move when the economy caught up with us. I was put on-call (losing my full-time status) and lost my children’s medical benefits.
Never one to sit still, I started job hunting. I applied at every salon, spa and resort I could find some what locally. Because of my good resume I was given several interviews. I had over 15 years experience in my profession and have continued my education with on going classes consistently. However, it still wasn’t enough because I was tuned down by every job I interviewed for. My hours were getting too hard to work because my kids were out of school an hour before my shift ended (3 nights a week). My grandpa had been picking the children up from daycare for me. It was getting too hard on him. The emotional strain of being alone with the children was too much on my grandmother. This combined with the loss of benefits and lack of any real income left me without many options. I decided to put in notice at the spa after being given my old job back at my former hair salon. This was in December. I put in a 30 day notice and touched bases with the owner of the salon I was to be starting at three times before my final day at the spa. Just as I was prepared to start my job at the salon I got a call from the salon owner telling me business was just too slow for him to hire anyone on. This left me unemployed. A few weeks after I found out that the spa I had been working for was closing its doors due to lack of business.
This seemed to be a blessing in disguise because I really needed to be at the house. My grandparents were both ailing (mentally and physically) and I have been doing a lot of care taking for them as well as cooking many of their meals. Both of them have started accidental fires in the past year. Living with them has been very emotionally demanding. However, I feel if I were to leave they would need to hire someone in my place. I have been trying to find help for my grandmother as well. I think she needs to be tested for dementia. Her mental state seems to be deteriorating rapidly. I have brought this up to family members only to be told, “No, she’s fine!” The notion of an evaluation made my grandfather really angry, he always felt he had to “protect her”.
Within all of this I started writing. As it turned out, I kinda had a knack for it. I was writing (on average) one short story a night on my android cell phone. As a matter of fact, in eight weeks I had completed my first novel. It is currently being published for ebook, kindle and nook. I’m still trying to come up with the money to publish it on paperback.
Last thursday morning I was getting ready to take my daughter to the store with me when it happened. There was a knock on the door. I heard my grandma yell up the stairs, “Wendi you have a friend here!” I walked down the stairs to be greeted by a CPS worker with the above complaint. After being interviewed and after an interviewed alone with my daughter she left. Before leaving she handed me her card and made an appointment to be back to interview my son on the 7th. She also told me she would be interviewing my grandmother. Now, I did not tell her any of this, I only denied the allegations. I am no good at explaining myself when being put on the spot nor am I any good at expressing myself verbally under pressure. However, I did explain to her that my grandfather had open heart surgery the night before and that my grandmother was not in her normal emotional state because of it.
That evening, around 6pm, my grandmother arrived back to the house with my aunt after visiting my grandpa in the hospital. They had just walked through the door when the phone rang. It was the hospital alerting them that my grandpa had “bled out and was currently undergoing emergency surgery”. They rushed back to the hospital. Within an hour my phone rang. It was my grandma telling me that my grandfather didn’t make it. I stayed up with my grandma until two am that night to make sure she was OK and I promised her that would take care of her. Also, I have made sure to be up with her and make her breakfast every morning since the death. I don’t want her to be alone and she has expressed to me that she was grateful the kids and I were here.
The next day my mom and step dad showed up at my grandmother’s house. They hadn’t spoken to us in over two years (with the exception of my grandmother seeing her a few days prior in the hospital). My mother unloaded her bag in my sons room and set up camp. Since she has been here she has kept my grandmother away from me and even told me that she was having me removed from the house. Not wanting to deal with all this and trying to keep peace in the house for my son, I called the police to discuss my options. As it turns out, because I am not paying rent I have no rights over who stays here. Even though I grew up in the house and have lived here the past two years with my two kids.
Recently, I spoke with my son’s teacher and gave her a bit of a run down. I also told her about how Child Services was investigating me for abuse. At first, I was scared and embarrassed to tell people, but then I just decided I better be open and honest with everyone about the situation. Not just because I have nothing to hide but also because I need their help.
Family has been in and out of the house since the death. I have asked my uncle if I could speak to him privately, he declined. I tried to speak to my aunt about my grandmother only to be shot down. My grandpa was a father to me having raised me. This death has been very hard for me to deal with though I have tried to suck up my emotions and take care of everyone else. I have spent most of my time (when no caring for my son or grandmother) alone and in bed. I have been so distraught that I’m making myself physically ill (UTI).
It was not a shock tonight when my aunt, uncle, mom and grandma returned from a day of shopping and dinner and told me they had to speak with me. I was in the middle of giving my son a bath at the time. As I washed him up, I contemplated the situation deciding that I didn’t feel like being put up against 4. Not wanting to be bullied, I declined.
My mother then came up the stars yelling, “Grandma wants you out!”
I asked her to please not discuss this in front of my son to which she replied, “Come down the stairs and we wont have to.”
“No thank you,” I responded, “You have not been in our lives for two years I don’t think you have the right to come here and start calling the shots.”
“Your uncle and I will help you move into a new place.”
“Great! Any place in my son’s school district will do.”
She laughed at me, “Ha ha, ya right!”
For some reason she and my ex husband have been trying to get me to move back to Las Vegas.
Again I said, “Please, this is not something I want to be discussed around my son.”
My aunt yelled up the stairs, “Then come downstairs!”
I finished bathing my son and brought him into my room to watch his favorite movie in peace with the door closed.
My mom said one last thing, “Well you have two choices. You can do it our way and move back to Las Vegas or tomorrow the four of us will go to the police station and file an eviction notice against you, it’s your choice.” Then, she giggled once more.
Now, I know this sucks and I want to freak out because I don’t know where I will be sheltering my son at tomorrow (OK in 30 days). I am aware that I am officially a giant loser. Hey, it’s not for lack of trying or skill or lack of education. I made some not some not so good choices along the way (for example, my marriage) and now my children are paying for them. Will THIS be the situation that finally gains my ex full custody of my daughter?
Also, I am worried for my grandmother. She could go either way at this point and I feel if her emotional state isn’t treated delicately she could enter a downward spiral into her dementia. She is not in the right state of mind to be making any decisions right now. Still, my loyalty is to my children and if it’s better for them that I go into the welfare office tomorrow to seek emergency shelter I will do that.
Please share this post and if you have any advice for me feel free to comment. If you can help me in any way I would appreciate that too. It’s not a total loss though for two reasons.
1.) I believe in miracles
2.) My book is freakin’ amazing!
I’m totally an optimist.
Option 1: You can come stay with us until you get this figured out. Anything you need, we are here for you.
ps, I woke up this morning with a UTI as well. First one in 7 years. I must really be feeling you pain.
You sound like a very resilient woman who will find ways to solve problems with your optimism and creativity. You’ve been through a lot and this is another challenge I strongly believe you can overcome.
When you look back at the past and see how you managed to get through shit in those days, it can give you the strength to face what you’re going through today. *hugs*
I am sorry to hear of your grandfathers passing. That is never easy. All you can do is do your best each day with the options that are presented to you. You are a good person and the truth will prevail. I really highly doubt that Beans will get full custody of your daughter. The “worst” that would happen is 50/50 custody. Hang in there, I’m here if you want to vent or chat.
Today I spent three hours at social services. After three reminders with the front desk (they wanted me to speak with the worker I had been assigned to but was told that she refused as I didnt have an appointent) I was finally given an interiew with a different case worker. I read the majority of this letter to her and as expected I broke down in tears. She listened and told me she was sorry for my loss. Then she said I could email the letter to my case worker. Also, she assured me that I had 30 days before I couldn be legally evicted.
I made my way back to the car where I called adult services to voice the same complaint. I again told them I had a letter and asked if I could send it because I suck at trying to express myself verbally. I was given a fax number and told they do not take emails. If anyone has a printer I could borrow that would be great.
I made my way home with my sunglasses covering my mascara streaked face. When I entered my room my grandma followed me.
“Can we talk?” She said
“OK,” I replied.
“I want to know why you wont be nice to me?”
“You show no respect. You are mean to me. I want you to leave I told that nurse you show no respect. You are mean to your kids. That one time when the car wouldn’t start and you yelled at papa and you grabbed the kids out of the car because they were going to be late. And then you punish me by taking the kids away and locking them upstairs.”
“Grandma, I was upset because the kids were acting up all morning and wouldn’t get ready for school. That’s what kids do. I never grabbed them, I removed the car seats. I keep them upstairs at night as to not bother you, to give you your space. I will leave in 30 days but you are going to need someone to come and take care of you. You can’t live here alone. If you tell nurses that I’m abusing my kids they have to report it.” I said
“You twist things. I asked that nurse, she didn’t report anything. Why can’t you be nice I don’t think you know how to love. All you do is write lies about me on your blog. You tell people lies!”
“Look grandma, I write about SEX! I write fictional stories about sex! (this is my first non-fiction/family drama record) WHO has actually read it? No one! Everyone talks about it but one not person in the family has actually read it”
She looked to my mom as she was coming up the stairs.
“I didn’t read it But I have heard.” My mom said, “Why wont you just leave? Come to Nevada and we will help you.”
“Is anyone considering the fact my CHILDREN ARE IN SCHOOL? Why would I go to Nevada? There is nothing for me there. When my ex husband beat me and I had to get a restraining order and I had no where to go, YOU turned me away.” I said to her.
“That’s a lie Frankie never hurt you, he did nothing but love you. You made all that up to hurt him,” my mom said.
“You told me Frankie never hit you! You said he never used a closed fist on you.” My grandma added.
“He did not hit me with a closed fist. He shoved me and…..”
“You are an abuser and you need help. I love you. Why don’t you do what’s best and let your kid’s dad’s take them?” My mom asked.
“You have not been here for two years. You are taking advantage of my grandmother in her weakened state.” I said, “OK! Let’s just let the state decide. Please leave me alone now. I have 30 days.”
“Oh no you don’t!” My mom said with a laugh, “we know things that you don’t know. It’s not going to be nice like that.”
They both contnued on about how I am a liar and an abuser. I just sat down and started writing They eventually left.
—-This is the thing My grandma and I have been best friends my whole life. She has always been the one to defend me and have my back. However in the mental state she is in she has become confused and overwhelmed. She doesn’t even know who I am. She thinks I am out to get her. My mom had put this in her head.—-
Anyway I definetly need out of this house and I will go in 30 days. I hope the social workers can get this sorted out and get someone here who can properly care for my grandma. In the meantime I’m sending this post along to everyone in hope of some help.
This day is NOT a total loss, actually as most of these recent days have been, it is also amazing! I was just emailed my proof of the BOOK!!! SHE IS STUNNING AND I LOVE HER!! Though she needs some changes. It’s getting so close to publication!!!!!
EVERYTHING WILL BE OK!!!
Also, I want to extend a huge “thank you” to all my readers who have offered your support to me. Those I know in person as well as those I have never even met before. I appreciate all of you so much.
The email I received from my exhusband this morning:
Look i wanna know whats going with your living situation. i know your being asked to leave your grandmothers house and i need to know where you are going to live, i need to know where violet will be living.
If you need me to keep her til you get on your feet, fine.
if your not going to accept the help being offered to you by your family than just let me know where you are going to be staying. send me a complete address.
There are so many different way for you to handle the current situation you have gotten yourself into, you are burning all the right bridges and crossing the wrong ones.
Have it your way, just send me an address where you are staying by the time you leave your grandmothers house.
Everyone was sincerely hoping, after what happened to your grandfather (RIP), that you would make the right life changes and consider the kids and put them first.
well everyone has tried to reach out to you to keep you from self destructing yet you will most likely use all of it against us in your current outlet.
Good Luck Wendi.
Several weeks prior to my grandfathers passing he received a phone call from my mother, after having not spoken to her since my move here. They started talking on a regular basis. Soon my grandmother was talking to her too. Suddenly out of nowhere my grandparents attitudes towards me changed. Now, we have had our ups and downs for sure in the two years my children and I have been here, but never ever anything to this extreme.
Everyone kept talking about me moving to Nevada. My kids go to school in California, I have lived at my grandparent house on and off my entire life I’m 32 years old. Why would anyone have any say over what state I lived in OR CARE?
I left my ex husband two years ago because he was physically abusive towards me. Honestly, I believed had I of stayed with him he would have killed me. I feard not only for my life but for my chldrens lives as well. My son developed night terrors because of being woken up at two am to Frank on tangents. He would break things, push me,, punch holes in walls, slam doors and verbally abuse me.
No one believed me at first, everyone liked him. Even my closest friends told me I needed to be a better wife. Then things got worse, eventually my friends began to see all the bruises I had and take into consideration the 3am text messages I would send saying, “If I am dead or missing tell the police it was Frank”.
Finally I had support. My grandfather even offered my kids and I a home. I didn’t want to uproot anyone but we had nowhere else to go so we made the move to California. These past two yars have been the hardest of my entire life. Each day is a battle BUT I gave everything up to make sure my children had a peacful home life. I shelter them as best I can from all the turmoile. We live upstairs in my grandparents house and stay to ourelves.
Before my mom was back in the picture the only real issues my grandparents and I had were over the kds- as my grandma would try to take over meal times or nag me about my laundry. Never ever in a million years would she tell us to move out. Not that I like it here. I HATE IT! I have no privacy and I’m living amoungst my aunts “stored furniture”. However my kids happiness always comes first. I would rather have them in a nice house and a good school district than in a shitty apartment in the ghetto.
I quit smoking cigarettes six months ago. I gave up drinking alcohol as well (minus the occasional cocktail) not because I had to or was in trouble but because I want to better myself and be a good role model for my children. I have also been on a spiritual path as well.
Last thing I wanted to say. I now know WHY women stay with abusers. After two years I have finally exhausted all my options. If my mom and my ex husband have their way and my kids and I end up back in Las Vegas these two years will have been in vain. I will be right back where I started.
I know judge would ask me, “If your ex husband was so abusive why would you settle with 50/50 custody ad not fight for your child?”
Let me state:
This court battle is just beginning. I knew when I was pregnant and Frank pushed me down the stairs. After I hit the bottom he said to me, “Mark my words, I will take that baby away from you once she is born,” That it was going to be a long road. However, I have spent my time wisely. I have been writing and creating and doing everything in my power to better myself so when the fight does ensue I would be ready. Every day my daughter is gone is a struggle. I worry about her constantly. However I know I still have rights with her and I would never battle if there was a chance I would be granted less than half.
I don’t know what’s going to happen but I have faith everything will be OK. I’m going to stand my ground and be strong for my kids even though I’m about to be served an eviction. I will stand tall until I am forced to submit.
The email I was given for my case worker by social services was incorrect. My letter came back un delverable both times I tried to send it.
3/3/13 I received an emil from my ex husband with picures, one being of my daughter with my dad and brother.
I just received a phone call from my grandma saying she is filing a restraining order against me.
Keep your head up. You are in my thoughts. I wouldn’t want to move back to Vegas either even though I need to move somewhere where it’s warmer. It’s like going backwards. And IMHO Vegas is a bad place to raise children. Phuck those “men” who do everything but hit you with a closed fist and say it’s not abuse. My boyfriend before Mike would trip me on purpose, push me, pick fights over nothing, had to know where I was every moment and would get upset if I wouldn’t spend the night at his apt every. single. night. When I broke up with him he’d hide on the side of my apt complex waiting for me to come home. I hate the situation you are in and wish I could help. Like I said you need snow tires to get to me or I’d let you guys camp out here. You don’t deserve the treatment you are getting. Phuck why is life so hard for us?! One day things will be better, it can’t rain all the time ; )
We are now living in a motel for the time being. But hey, we have a mini fridge, mirowave and i brought with us a ton of toys and our bedding. ALSO CABLE TV and WIFI! Life could be much worse. I’m counting my blessings.
I just was told (through the grape vine) that my ex huband is planning on taking me to court for full custody of my daughter soon and that my mother is standing by his side. Is this all starting to add up to you guys? I KNOW IT IS CRAZY and farfetched. It is making my fictional stories look boring!!! I have spent the last four months doing nothing but caretaking and writing and being the most boring person who ever lived. Then BOOM! THIS happenes.
I will be picking up Paxton from daycare pretty soon. Everyone keep your fingers crossed that my mom doesn’t have something else planned for me. 😀
I have tried getting in contact with the social worker again today to no avail. I left her a voicemail briefly explaining our living situation as well as the bad email address.
I can’t even begin to express how good it feels only a few hours out of that negative enviornment… Pax is excited about our “living on vacation” experience. Although I did forget his stuffed Fox 😦 Crap!
I’m super excited to watch TV!!!!! It’s been ages.
Well, I don’t know if we will be able to retreive the rest of our things or not. My mom usually destroys and donates everything after she throws me out. Of course, I havn’t had her throw me out of aywhere since I was 17. To my friends with all the old photos from high school, remember how I don’t own any? THIS IS WHY!!
I saved the voicemail from my grandma calling from the court. She says, “I’m puting a restraining order on you………..for…………..uh……….” Then you can hear my mom yell something in the background. My granda continues and I think she says, “emotional distress” though I’m not certain. She was hesitating and mumbling. POOR GRANDMA!!!!!
The lady from social services called me back to tell me she got my messages but is going to be out of the office for the night (i missed the call and got a vicemail). I was told to call for the email address…so..that went no where. I’ll try her again tomorrow. Though I am paranoid (with good reason) of my mothers next move.
Anyway, I will make this a fun adventure. The kids need to get used to traveling with me anyways since I’m gonna be a superstar when my book takes off 😉 and we go on tour. Duh!!
I make killer lemonade!!!
Hang in there, gf!! Sounds like you are doing a good job keeping your chin up and documenting everything. Keep praying and fighting…you know you’re doing the right thing, and the court should too!
I wish the best fir you and your children.ay you find a safe place to live.
I was able to get a hold of the social worker today and get the correct email address. I sent this stream over to her and will be meeting with her tomorrow.
In the meantime, I’m getting all the bugs out of my book via the publisher. She should be ready for sale sometime soon!!!
I asked Frank last weekend if he would consider keeping Violet an extra week and do a 3 weeks on 3 weeks off switch instead of 2 weeks/2 weeks per usual. He agreed. I told him I was not sure and that I would get back to him later in the week to confirm. Tonight I sent him a text telling that my plans did not work out and I would be picking her up Saturday as scheduled. He told me “no” and that he already had plans on Sunday with our daughter. I told him again I would meet him as court ordered. Again he told me no and said I could pick her up on Monday. I told that I would be there Saturday and if I had to involve the police I would. He told me to go ahead.
With the help of friends/extended family I was able to work out something to have paxton watched and picked up over the weekend/monday as so Frank could keep Violet. I will bring her back Monday now instead of Saturday like I wanted. She will miss a day of school that will have to be paid for regardless. I asked frank to help me with school tuition again and he decined per usual.
WOW NOW THAT IS THE TRUE DEFINITION OF FICTION!
Paxtons grandma, Rebecca offered to go to my grandma’s house and pick up more of our belongings for us. Also she was going to try to find more information out about the restraining order that I have not been served with yet.
I went to the doctor again today as the antibiotics I have been taking since Sunday for my UTI have not been helping. The doctor ran a test and then prescribed a different kind of antibiotic. The infection is still going strong. Because I have had so many lately he thinks it may be because of kidney stones. Yippee!!
I spoke with Paxtons teacher as well as the teachers at his day care and explained the situation. I also went to Violet’s day care and explained, letting them know that I was not able to pick up Violet on her normal day and that she would be missing a day of school this week. Everyone has been really supportive and helping me with advice on getting things handled.
Our social worker will meet us at the motel today to interview Paxton. I hope she can help us!!!!!
Cross your fingers!!!!
I met with the social worker today and she interviewd Paxton Unfortunately she had not yet received my emil for some reason (maybe I’m in the junk box?) but I was able to give her the rundown anyway. She said she will most likely be closing the case. Luckily she did have some suggestions for us to seek hotel vouchers etc. I will be looking into that on Monday when I return (hopefuly) with Violet. Also she told me she could find out if the restraining order was placed or not.
Crossing my fingers that Grandma gets some help asap. POOR GRANDMA!!!!!
She has been calling my mom by my name and when I mentioned it to her she told me, “I always mistake names because I’m old!”
Just last month she took me aside and lectured me, “Don’t you tell your kids that I’m old! That’s rude!! I hate the word old!”
I just laughed and told her “if the shoe fits..”!!!!
The last few months she was having other isses such as:
Forgetting what time my son was to get out of school and screaming that I had forgotten him (i have never been late or missed getting him from school or daycare) on a semi-regular basis.
Getting up and preparing my son breakfast as we were leaving for school after I had already fed him (Paxton calls it ‘second breakfast’) thinking he had not eaten.
Leaving the stove burners on overnight. Once she rested the toaster on top of lit burner causing a small kitchen fire.
Made it Vegas for the weekend. Feels so good to be with friends. I woke up feeling so light, I hadn’t realized just how much of a burden it was living with my grandparents. I have not been happy at all there, each day was a struggle to keep everyone happy and taken care of. I really do feel like I was given a free pass out of there. I was planning on taking care of grandma as long as I had to. I just pray that social services will step in and help, I pray she gets a nurse to look after her. I can’t imagine what it must feel like for her losing her husband then being forced to get a restraining order against me while being completely isolated and controlled by LInda. Her whole life was just changed as if the death wasn’t hard enough on it’s own. I haven never been away from my grandmother more than a few months in my whole life. The entire time I lived in Las Vegas I was driving down once a month to work at the salon and staying with my grandparents. It muse be a huge loss for her not to have the children there.
Paxton is spending the weekend with his dad and grandma Becky. Rebecca went to the house and retrieved some belonings for us. My mother told her that “her offer to help me get into a place” no longer stands”. I know for a fact she wouldn’t help me. She has always lied to me just to let me down. Her plan is to get me back near her where she can control and manipulate me and my children. I just want nothing to do with her. I want to be left alone to raise my kids in a loving and peaceful enviornment as they deserve. We don’t need any of this in our lives.
When I was 12 my mom threw me out for the first time. I slept in the park/at strangers houses etc. When I finally gave up and came home she called the police, lied and told them I was “beating my father” and had me arrested. Once I was released she tried to have me commited. I ws sent to Charter hospital. After a thorough evaluation I was deemed “sane” and released only she wouldn’t let me back home. She made me stay there until her insurance wouldn’t pay for it aymore. I have many of these stories and they will all be part of the new book, maybe an autobiography.
She also told Rebecca that she loves me and that she will allow Rebecca to pick up the rest of my children and my belongings after she packs them up for us. I wonder what’s going through her head as she pulls all my sons art work off his bedroom wall, the room she “claimed” and packs it away. Not one feeling of emotion for the child who lost his (great) grandfather and then a week later was forced out of his home of two years and can no longer see his (great) grandma. I am having a heard time explaining this to my son. I just keep telling him we are “living on vacation” and we “wave at papa” as we pass the cemetary on his way to school each morning.
I was all set to get Violet from frank Monday morning as discussed when frank sent me a text sunday afternoon telling me he was bringing her by then. I tried to debate the point with him but gave in to end the argument. He also threatened to “call CPS” on me again. I told him that I thought he should and sent him the name and phone number of our case worker.
I’m pretty sure “the tickets I already purchased for her” that Frank was using as an excuse to keep violet until monday translates to “I’m taking her to see your mother and grandmother (against my wishes)” but I don’t know for sure. Frank arguing with me really stressed me out. I was already paranoid that he would try to serve me grandma’s restraining order. He was super insistent about me giving him “my new address” and refused to leave Violet with me until he had it. I gave him the address to the hotel we had been staying at but wasn’t sure if we would end up there or not. I did not tell him this in fear he would keep her( we are at a different hotel but am scared of him having the address because he will give it to my mom). I had Brandi mediate and waited in the house when frank dropped Violet off. I am scared of him and on edge whenever he is around for apparent reasons. Violet showed up with a finger that is completely skinned and infected. She has been crying since that it hurts. Also both of her feet are bruised again (she showed up last time with bruised and bloody ankles and tops of toes) and the front of both legs are bruised and scratched all the way to the knees. I asked her what happened and she said she fell off a skate board. I did not ask frank in fear of another argument. Her behavior is bad again. Several time last night she woke me up kicking me and screaming. She has been having temper tantrums by screaming, shreaking and throwing whatever she can get her hands onto. She screamed on and off for the majority of the four hour drive home. She also had an accident in her pants and asked for a diaper. Frank packed me diapers as well. Violet was fully potty trained over six months ago by me and her school. She has not had an accident in her pants since Christmas when she was with me so I don’t know why she was back in the diapers. Again, I didn’t ask frank because I don’t want another fight. I did ask him to stay off my blog ad he laughed at me stating “it’s posted publicly”.
One of my friends suggested I take Violet to the police department to make a report but I don’t want to continue traumatizing her. Plus, I know skinned legs are considered normal. I’m going to ask her teachers to take a look at her tomorrow instead.
I took the priceline challenge and was gifted with a beautiful extended stay with a kitchenette and breakfast nook. Also, lots of closet space and a big tub. The internet is slower than hell but it will do. The price is totally do-able. I can’t express how good it feels to finally be ALONE to mother my children in a calm environment with out someone breathing down my neck constantly and telling me I’m a piece of shit. This is the first time I have ever been alone with my children. I went from Frank controlling me to my grandparents.
Despite how horrible this situation was I am looking on the other side and I really feel like I hit the jackpot. I was ready to give up myself to care for my grandmother for as long as she needed me. If it wasn’t for being forced out I never would have left. It feels so good to be out.
I DON’T EVEN CARE IF IT’S A DAMN STUDIO! IT’S OURS AND YOU CAN’T PUT A PRICE ON FREEDOM.
Let me address the “address”. By law I am required to give Frank my address. However, I gave him the current address at the time he asked. Should he ask me again in the future I will give him the new one (even though I’m scared).
Just wanted to clear that up. That is all.
I think your friend was right with her advice to get a police report. Don’t wait till they build a case against you – build one against them – at least so you can defend yourself. It sounds like a really really amazing gift that you have escaped that woman that birthed you!
Thanks for your support! ♡
A text from Frank today with his own spelling.
“no one is afraid of you wendi. your just a stupid bitch. LOL. Have a lawyer ready. your grandmother was nice enough to get me one see ya soon!”
Yesterday, Rebecca took the kids and I to the aquarium for the day. She is amazing and has been my only friend and support though out this ordeal. She also went to the house to retrieve some more of our belongings. Unfortunately I was unable to book the hotel we have been staying at for another week. We will be relocating to a tiny dump and a lot of the stuff I have now will not fit in my car. I will have to get rid of/store some of it elsewhere. I am close to breaking point and REALLY need a friend these days.
Rebecca spoke to my grandma and grandma said to her, “I miss the kids and am worried about them. I told Wendi they could live here forever.”
POOR GRANDMA! SHE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW SHE PUT A RESTRAINING ORDER ON ME!!!!!!
I wish someone would help her!
At least Rebecca found out grandma has been in grief counseling. Everyone just pray that the counselors figure this all out SOON!!
P.S, Go buy my book: http://www.amazon.com/Its-Not-Fault-Discovery-ebook/dp/B00BUT8MC8/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1363665681&sr=8-2&keywords=wendi+bear