Home

paja-5

It’s been almost two months since my grandfather died. I know because the Botox I pumped into my face the day before his funeral is starting to wear off. That’s right, once again I have expression. I’m trying my best not to use it to pout.

This week has been by far, the worst yet, also the best since his passing. Although I have been forced to come to terms with the reality of my life and make some very hard decisions I never thought I would make, I have also been inspired to follow a dream I thought I had lost.

Once again I have rediscovered deep breathing, my spirituality and meditation. I’m started to heal from the inside out. Even my va-jay-jay, having been plagued with the UTI “that never ends”, has started to feel better.

Actually, my whore hole has also been inspired, if by inspired I mean awakened. If by awakened I mean excited. Uh, huh. Why, I was just sitting in bed alone this afternoon editing the second edition of my book when it happened. My mind drifted away and I had a little fantasy about my dear friend, Grim.

Turned out THAT was the magic thought.

IMG764-1

I closed my blinds pulled down my pants and enjoyed a little self love. It had been so long since I had felt anything other than pain down there that it didn’t take me long to finish and it was really intense. After the release of my lady liquid something very strange happened.

Don’t tell anyone I am admitting this but…I….cried. Well, just a little.

You see, lately I have been thinking more about my spirituality. It brought be back to my first spiritual connection, my first love, Redbeard. That’s right! I’m still on the love kick! ❤ ❤ ❤

After Redbeard dropped out of school, I didn’t see him again for three weeks. When we finally ran into each other, it was at the mall. Both of us were applying for a position at a little retail shop called Hot Topic. Even though Redbeard was friends with the assistant manager, I still beat him and was given the job. Redbeard was pissed. I held it over his fat head and laughed at him whenever I could. In return he had his sister and her friend walk by the shop, call me names and flip me off on a semi-regular basis. Also, he would come into the store on my days off and spread rumors about me.

Eventually the war started to fizzle out as I was growing bored of fighting with him and more focused on my future. I registered for cosmetology school in California and put in my two-week notice to transfer to a Hot Topic store out there as well. That very same day, it happened.

Sitting alone at the food court on my lunch break, Redbeard approached me and he sat down.

I looked at him in shock, “Ya?”
“How have you been?” he asked me.
“Why do you care? Do you want to torture me some more?” I asked him, obviously annoyed.
He looked deep into my eyes and then I could seriously feel him looking into my soul, “No. I want us to be friends.”

I sat there stunned. I fucking loved that jerk, my heart was all over the place.

“Okay,” I eventually managed to get out of my shocked lips.

Then he started making fun of me, gently and teasing me like he used to.

DAMN IT! FUCK!

That was all it took. I was back in his trap.

I didn’t take it lying down though, I dished it right back at him. Redbeard loved this. Actually, he even invited me to the coffee shop that night to see a performance of The Rocky Horror Pitcure Show with him.

After pulling into the parking lot of the venue, I parked my little car and got out. I could see his giant, six and a half-foot ass twenty feet away. He was wearing a white sheer night-gown, long black prom gloves and on his head, a fucking sparkling tiara. I didn’t even care. Redbbeard was still hot. All the girls in school felt exactly the same way I did too. Go figure.

I walked right up to him and he outstretched his bean pole arms and pulled me to him for one of his signature hugs. Our mutual friends just stood there in utter shock. They had all been forced to take sides and none of them saw this coming.

“You guys all need to be nice to ***** now. The war is over,” he announced.

Although stunned, everyone obeyed his order.

After the show, I offered him a ride back to his mom’s apartment. Once there we parked and he didn’t get out, instead he continued the conversation. We actually talked into the wee hours of the night.

That’s when it happened. Redbeard kissed me. Uh huh. Not just any kiss either. He did that “soul looking” thing while slowly reaching his hand behind my neck and digging his nails into my flesh ever so lightly, before dragging them along the surface of my skin. My body melted. I wanted him BAD and he knew it. He refused to give it to me and left me there in longing as he scrambled into his apartment as the sun was coming up.

I didn’t even care, I love being teased.

One again we became inseparable.

A few nights later, we drove with some friends up to a hill overlooking the Las Vegas valley. The wind was warm and we could see all the stars in the sky. Wanting to be alone, the two of us climbed up to a higher spot. As we sat together, I leaned into him to feel his body heat. We watched for meteors while feeling the energy from the earth. It was a magical moment quite literally.

Later that night, we drove back to his place and he invited me inside. Once in his room, he pushed me onto his bed and kissed me with the same passion stored up from a few night prior. Then, once again, he dug his nails across my body and teased me until I was begging him to enter me. When he decided that I looked pathetic enough he gave in. Slowly, he spread me apart and pushed himself inside.

Magic.

The minute the tip of his erection entered me, both of us were in orgasm. I don’t mean, the finish line either. You know that part during sex, the part that usually takes several minutes to achieve, it happens right when the sensation intensifies to the point you are about to orgasm. That’s exactly what it was like, only it lasted the entire session. I’m serious. Both of us would be on the verge for thirty minutes, sometimes an hour. We would finish in puddles. It was more than sex, it was a spiritual connection. Sometimes Redbeard would make eye contact with me, fucking intense! If you have not experienced sex like this you really need to. Trust me, your life is not complete.

I have only experienced anything like this with one other person. Morthos, who I met at Redbeard’s funeral. Crazy stuff!

Let me cool myself off a bit. Okay, back to the story. Anyway, Redbeard and I kept this up almost every night for those last two weeks. Finally, the night before my big move arrived. We went to a concert together and Redbeard worked his powers to get us up to the very front of the floor section. He used his long, bean pole arms to secure me between his body and the foot of the stage.

After the show, I drove him home and stayed with him in my car for as long as I could. Just as the sun was about to rise, I gave him one final kiss and left him standing there on the curb watching me drive away. I was so in love with that guy, my heart shattered.

The next morning I loaded up what I could fit of my belongings into my little Geo Metro. I pushed my thoughts of Redbeard aside and I focused on my future. I was going to get through school in a year-tops! Then, I would be back to get my man.

Well, it didn’t quite turn out like that. But that’s another story.

—————————————————————————————————————-

If you enjoyed what you just read, become active in the authors warped community:

*Don’t forget to “LIKE” the “It’s Not My Fault.” Facebook page!*

*Leave a comment below*

*Buy the Book!*

*Subscribe to the “It’s Not My Fault” Youtube & Funny or Die pages*

*Follow this shit on Twitter*

*Stay updated on Google+*

9 thoughts on “Sex Magic & Botox

  1. Pingback: Cock Rocks Memorial | It's not my fault.

What do YOU have to say about this? Comment here!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s