There is no coparenting with a narcisstic ex, there is only chaos. After a year long court battle I lost full physical custody of my little girl to her narcisstic father. Even though I had a stack of evidence and his case was built on lies with no real physical evidence of his own I still lost. I didn’t have an attorney, my ex husband is a master manipulator and our judge was lazy.
Given his newfound power my ex has decided to use it as only he knows best, by refusing me my legal visitation of course!
This weekend he allowed me my first visit since June. I spent 4 months away from my daughter as did her 8 year old brother. Not cool and not healthy in any way.
I do my best to keep my ex husband away from my son who has a different father. However my ex husband seems to be obsessed with him and upon our arrival ran up to him and planted a wet kiss on his face.
“Hey buddy, how’s it going? I brought you presents!”
My daughter stunk like cigarettes as did her Halloween costume. My ex husband smokes both in the car with her as well as in the house.
Once in my car my son asks me, “Why don’t you want me to be friends with Frank? He’s so nice!”
We had a little discussion about real nice vrs fake nice. You can not explain narcissism to a child.
“Mommy why do you lie? My daddy says you lie all the time.” My daughter asked me. I told her what I always tell her, “Do you think Mommy lies?”
“You know the truth in your heart.”
“Mommy why do you drink too much alcohol? Daddy says you drink lots of bottles.”
“Do you see mommy drink lots of bottles?” I asked.
As soon as I got home with my daughter, I noticed that her face and neck appeared to have faded bruising and scratches on them. So, as any decent parent would do, I took photographs to document and I posted them privately on my Facebook page as dated evidence.
Immediately, concerned friends began commenting on the post.
Of course we all know anything posted online is not private but I was shocked to discover how fast word spread of my post. Either my ex husband has a fake Facebook account I must have unknowingly accepted a friend request from OR he has a friend who does because within minutes his texting began.
The joys of dealing with a stalker.
I went ahead and shared his texts on facebook too.
Even though the court order specifically states that he is not to contact me except at his call time on EXTENDED visits ONLY, he went ahead and once again harassed me by text message and by phone calls the entire 3 days I had my little girl.
And when I chose not to respond and to focus my time on my very limited visitation he became desperate and the bullying began.
I ignored him until yesterday morning to give him a meet up time. Once to the meet up spot, he got out of the car and with the most exaggerated voice of excitement I’ve ever heard began, “Oh hi Violet! I missed you so much!” Then he started trying to coax my son out of the car. I told my son to stay put and locked the door.
“Here I got you a present!” he said to my daughter handing her a stuffed owl to get her to divert her attention from leaving me.
“I want to play at the playground,” she told him.
“Well ok, let’s go!” he said grabbing her by the hand and SKIPPING into Mc Donalds! I couldn’t make this shit up.
Yet it doesn’t end there.
This morning I awoke to a slew of text messages from him, which again I chose to ignore.
So let’s back this up a bit.
I don’t have Stockholm syndrome.
I hate my abuser, my ex husband.
He won’t Coparent with me, he is not looking out for our child’s best interest. He tried to kill me, he constantly harasses me, he is abusing my child and keeping her away from me.
I hate him and I can’t wait until he dies! The sooner the better! The less time he has to abuse and destroy this innocent child, also the better.
I pray all the time that his lifestyle choices of addiction to prescription pain killers, his smoking habit, and his tendency to wreck cars kills him sooner rather than later (though I also pray he doesn’t wreck when my daughter is in the car ESPECIALLY since she’s told me the last two visits he not only doesn’t make her sit in a booster seat but let’s her ride on the floor).
Nice work there Frank-o. Not only did you manage to completely divert from the fact Violet showed up with her face and neck marked up but you twisted the story to make me look like a murderer with a plan to leave the country!
I don’t even eat red meat. Plus, as luck would have it, praying is still legal.
For any of you that are looking for a perfect example of Narcissism and how these monsters function:
THERE IT IS LOUD AND CLEAR!
I guess since the word is out, I’ll be moving to Dubai instead.
Oh crap! Did I just say that on the Internet again?
Copyright Wendi Bear 2015