There is no coparenting with a narcisstic ex, there is only chaos. After a year long court battle I lost full physical custody of my little girl to her narcisstic father. Even though I had a stack of evidence and his case was built on lies with no real physical evidence of his own I still lost. I didn’t have an attorney, my ex husband is a master manipulator and our judge was lazy.

Given his newfound power my ex has decided to use it as only he knows best, by refusing me my legal visitation of course!

This weekend he allowed me my first visit since June. I spent 4 months away from my daughter as did her 8 year old brother. Not cool and not healthy in any way. 

I do my best to keep my ex husband away from my son who has a different father. However my ex husband seems to be obsessed with him and upon our arrival ran up to him and planted a wet kiss on his face.

“Hey buddy, how’s it going? I brought you presents!”


My daughter stunk like cigarettes as did her Halloween costume. My ex husband smokes both in the car with her as well as in the house.

Once in my car my son asks me, “Why don’t you want me to be friends with Frank? He’s so nice!”

We had a little discussion about real nice vrs fake nice. You can not explain narcissism to a child.

“Mommy why do you lie? My daddy says you lie all the time.” My daughter asked me. I told her what I always tell her, “Do you think Mommy lies?”


“You know the truth in your heart.”

“Mommy why do you drink too much alcohol? Daddy says you drink lots of bottles.”

“Do you see mommy drink lots of bottles?” I asked.


As soon as I got home with my daughter, I noticed that her face and neck appeared to have faded bruising and scratches on them.  So, as any decent parent would do, I took photographs to document and I posted them privately on my Facebook page as dated evidence.


Immediately, concerned friends began commenting on the post.



Of course we all know anything posted online is not private but I was shocked to discover how fast word spread of my post. Either my ex husband has a fake Facebook account I must have unknowingly accepted a friend request from OR he has a friend who does because within minutes his texting began.

The joys of dealing with a stalker.


I went ahead and shared his texts on facebook too.


Even though the court order specifically states that he is not to contact me except at his call time on EXTENDED visits ONLY, he went ahead and once again harassed me by text message and by phone calls the entire 3 days I had my little girl.


And when I chose not to respond and to focus my time on my very limited visitation he became desperate and the bullying began.


I ignored him until yesterday morning to give him a meet up time. Once to the meet up spot, he got out of the car and with the most exaggerated voice of excitement I’ve ever heard began, “Oh hi Violet! I missed you so much!” Then he started trying to coax my son out of the car. I told my son to stay put and locked the door.

“Here I got you a present!” he said to my daughter handing her a stuffed owl to get her to divert her attention from leaving me.

“I want to play at the playground,” she told him.

“Well ok, let’s go!” he said grabbing her by the hand and SKIPPING into Mc Donalds! I couldn’t make this shit up.


Yet it doesn’t end there.

This morning I awoke to a slew of text messages from him, which again I chose to ignore.





So let’s back this up a bit.

I don’t have Stockholm syndrome.

I hate my abuser, my ex husband.

He won’t Coparent with me, he is not looking out for our child’s best interest. He tried to kill me, he constantly harasses me, he is abusing my child and keeping her away from me.

I hate him and I can’t wait until he dies! The sooner the better! The less time he has to abuse and destroy this innocent child, also the better.


I pray all the time that his lifestyle choices of addiction to prescription pain killers, his smoking habit, and his tendency to wreck cars kills him sooner rather than later (though I also pray he doesn’t wreck when my daughter is in the car ESPECIALLY since she’s told me the last two visits he not only doesn’t make her sit in a booster seat but let’s her ride on the floor).

Nice work there Frank-o. Not only did you manage to completely divert from the fact Violet showed up with her face and neck marked up but you twisted the story to make me look like a murderer with a plan to leave the country!

I don’t even eat red meat. Plus, as luck would have it, praying is still legal.

For any of you that are looking for a perfect example of Narcissism and how these monsters function:



I guess since the word is out, I’ll be moving to Dubai instead.

Oh crap! Did I just say that on the Internet again?

Like what you just read?
Follow Electrikkiss on facebook!
Visit Wendi Bear’s Amazon page to purchase the books!

Copyright Wendi Bear 2015

32 thoughts on “Coparenting With A Narcissist: A Joke

  1. I’m so glad I lucked out. I pressed charges for sexual assault against my ex narcissistic psychopath, got a restraining order, he didnt show up to court for the restraining order, so I got full custody. I couldn’t imagine him taking my daughter away. I’m so sorry. That bastard still tries to call CPS on me, is trying to take me to court for custody, and stop child support–everything he can. He has not been successful.

    I hope one day he gets his!

  2. The texts messages sounds just like my ex. I’m still pregnant but I feel like I’m headed down the same path girl and he smokes like a chimney and drinks like a fish till 2-3 am every night Oh and the best part is he will leave his 8 year old daughter with me while he goes out with his friends at night when I’ve never met the mother. Yet ppl think he is the good guy. It baffles me.

  3. I’ve been a reader for a while of both your “real life” blogging and your Asterix stories. I’m writing because I felt that this post crossed a line that worries me. I get it, and obviously I’m down with you fighting the good fight with your ex (and the other many adversaries you describe in your posts, real and literary) and I feel your concerns for your daughter, but when I survey the overall battlefield carnage related and represented by this very intense expose, the end result in my mind is not flattering to either you or your ex. In the end, all I came up with was “those poor kids!” In my opinion your daughter’s privacy is very disrespected here, the photos of her to show her alleged physical harm from your ex made me feel violated, in the sense that I can’t even really see anything very obvious at all, and the only conclusion I can form is “wow, how unthinkable that anyone I know would post pictures of their child like this to publicly discredit their child’s other parent!” I believe that there is right and wrong, and of course we should fight for the right, but there is also HOW we fight… Do we fight by any means necessary? What will the collateral damage be from all of this? When we fight an evil opponent, is there a risk that we ourselves, in matching our adversary’s assault, actually run the risk of becoming like them? I read an interesting bit of wisdom on the net a while back: “The greatest thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.” Pretty insightful I think, but I also believe it works both ways, so I have to ask, where is the love — for anyone — in this post? Sincere best wishes for a better day for you and your children.

    • I have two choices. One, sit back and let him control us and possibly never see my child again or TWO stand the fuck up and fight. I’m not going down without a fight. I have no chance of having my child in my life if I don’t fight. I read something too that sat with me and that was, “Be the adult you needed when you were a child.”
      Well, I was the child of a narcisst and NO ONE stood up for me.

    • Almost nailed all I wanted to say to this post. My main concern is though, Wendi, your pics of your child and this conversation with her dad will now FOREVER be on the Internet. Did you ask your daughters approval before posting her on your fb? Of course not, no parent does, obviously.
      I really like what I have read from you and you seem to be a very strong eloquent and intelligent woman. I just hope you don’t make some serious Internet related mistakes.
      Take care!
      (Oh, btw, as a Swede, the Stockholm syndrome wouldn’t apply here anyway 😛)

      • I’m protecting us. If I didn’t post this I could be in jail right now. Accusing someone of murder is a big deal. I’m sorry you two don’t understand, but I know what I’m doing.

        Making the abuse public is the only power I have and I wish more women would stand up and do this.

        I don’t apologize for my actions. I’m taking my power back and I refuse to continue to be a victim.

        • Oh, I didn’t mean you shouldn’t document the abuse (or alleged), I just meant the whole “posting it on fb” – thing.
          Of course you should protect your children!
          I think we both understand, but (speaking for me only) I questioned the method. I have no children, I don’t know what you’re going through, I do come from a broken home and I thank goddess that fb didn’t exist back then.
          I wish you all the best and I do hope your actions are the right ones. Lotsa hugs!

          • I fought clean and quietly in court all of last year. He lied, played dirty and once again is alienating my child from me illegally. He has teamed up against me work members of my own family. At this point I don’t give a fuck. I’m going all out publicly, it’s my last hope.

            • Ok, I understand your frustration. My only plea was “don’t do it via fb”. Yes, go public, post pictures etc, I am all for that, but remember revenge is a dish best served cold. Don’t post things in the heat of the moment and think about the forever lasting memory of Google.

            • I could care less about “revenge” I’m protecting my child by whatever means necessary. In this event it was entirely necessary. For now on I shall continue to expose all his abuse publicly ams my only regret is that I didn’t start sooner.

      • “Stockholm syndrome, or capture-bonding, is a psychological phenomenon in which hostages express empathy and sympathy and have positive feelings toward their captors, sometimes to the point of defending and identifying with the captors.”

        My ex husband was my captor, I think the definition applies perfectly.

        • Yep, okay, I’ll give you that, but it’s not really how the term is applied though. I mean it’s not used to explain a relationship between two people. But I definitely get your point. As I said, you have come across as well read and intelligent, so you proved me right 😊.

          • It’s not a relationship between two people by any means. It’s a fight to protect my child from an abusive predator. This man is not human, he’s a monster, my mother is a monster and my child is the innocent victim as I was as a child. It’s my duty to stand up and do everything in my power to protect my child. I don’t expect you to understand, you didn’t live through the nightmares I have with these people. The problem with society is that everyone turns a blind shoulder to the abuse and blames the victim. You didn’t see him drug me and leave me in a bath tub to die when my children were both under 2. You didn’t see him push me down the stairs when I was 6 months pregnant. You weren’t there at 2am all those mornings when he started his tirades and I was silently texting friends to yell them if I died that night he was to blame. So no, I don’t think I’m out of line posting the truth on facebook. I wish more women would stand up and do the same.

            • I am so so sorry you have been through all that. No one should ever be subjected to that kind of violence. As I said, I totally agree with your choice in going public, but I was questioning the way you went about it.

            • He was about to try to have me arrested for made up allegations of conspiracy to murder. Don’t believe me? Maybe I should post the documents from the restraining order their placed on me for false allegations of elderly abuse. ..or some of the false kidnapping or child abuse claims. I know what I’m dealing with.

            • I do believe you and I do hear the anger and resentment you have. (Shit, I sound like a psychologist). No, don’t post anything, it is all already in document, as it should be.
              I have read your earlier posts and I do feel for you. I have no idea how I would react in your position, probably the same way. I was merely trying to be the voice of reason (or really the ghost of your future Internet).

  4. Thank you for liking my blog. I do hope you will check back from time to time.- As a clinical social worker (therapist), I found your post on narcissistic parenting was spot on (joke or not) to what real parents are dealing with daily. Thanks for telling your readers to document and keep other children safe.

  5. Pingback: Co-Parenting with a Narcissist 2: The Nightmare Continues | It's not my fault.

What do YOU have to say about this? Comment here!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s